At Milk to Mealtime, we are deeply committed to understanding and honouring the lived experiences of neurodivergent children and their families. Feeding challenges are often complex, tied closely to how each child perceives and interacts with the world through their sensory system.
Our approach is not about fixing behaviours or changing eating preferences. Instead, it is centred on understanding, acceptance, and collaboration. We strive to walk alongside families, creating a space where differences are celebrated, not pathologised, and where progress feels empowering rather than overwhelming.
Listening to Lived Experiences
Every child and family’s feeding journey is unique, and we recognise that we cannot fully appreciate these experiences without listening. Neurodivergent children often express their needs in ways that may not align with societal expectations, especially during mealtimes. For some, certain textures, smells, or sounds can feel overwhelming, while others may find comfort in familiar and repetitive food choices.
By listening to parents and caregivers—and, where possible, the children themselves—we aim to understand these individual sensory and emotional experiences. This lived knowledge forms the foundation of our work, helping us to tailor strategies and goals to each family’s needs.
Shifting the Narrative: From Difficulties to Differences
Feeding challenges are often framed as problems to be solved, but this narrative doesn’t align with the neurodivergent perspective. Rather than focusing on “difficulties,” we shift the lens to differences. Neurodivergence brings with it unique ways of interacting with the world, including food.
Understanding these differences through the lens of the sensory system is crucial:
Hyper-responsiveness: Some children experience intense reactions to certain textures, smells, or tastes, which can make even familiar foods feel overwhelming.
Hypo-responsiveness: Others may struggle to notice or respond to food, requiring more sensory input to engage with eating.
Sensory-seeking behaviours: Some children actively seek certain textures or flavours that feel grounding and predictable.
These responses are not “wrong”; they are simply the child’s way of navigating their world. By honouring these differences, we help families see their child’s behaviours as a form of communication rather than resistance.
Meeting Nutritional Goals with Flexibility and Respect
For many families, ensuring their child’s nutritional needs are met while respecting sensory differences can feel like an impossible balancing act. We work closely with parents to navigate this challenge with empathy and creativity.
Our approach involves:
Starting with safety: Building trust through foods the child already accepts, ensuring they feel safe and in control.
Adapting to needs: Modifying textures, temperatures, or presentation to make foods less overwhelming.
Focusing on familiar and predictable: Repeated exposure to familiar foods helps build comfort and confidence.
Supplementing creatively: Finding ways to incorporate nutrients into accepted foods without adding stress, like blending vegetables into sauces or smoothies.
We focus on achievable nutritional goals that align with the child’s preferences, ensuring mealtimes remain positive experiences.
Creating Safe and Supportive Mealtime Environments
For neurodivergent children, the mealtime environment can often contribute to overstimulation or overwhelm. Small adjustments can significantly improve their feeding experience, including:
Minimising distractions and sensory overload, such as reducing noise or dimming bright lights.
Offering sensory supports, like weighted lap pads or wobble cushions, to help children feel more grounded.
Maintaining a consistent routine to provide predictability and reduce anxiety.
These changes not only support the child but also empower parents to create mealtimes that feel calmer and more connected.
The 6 Fs Framework: A Guiding Philosophy
Our work is grounded in a family-centred approach that aligns with the 6 Fs framework:
1. Fun: Making mealtimes enjoyable rather than stressful.
2. Familiar: Building on routines, foods, and environments that the child feels safe with.
3. Feeding Skills: Developing oral-motor and sensory integration at the child’s pace.
4. Flexibility: Slowly introducing new foods while respecting the child’s boundaries.
5. Family Support: Offering coaching and a listening ear to parents navigating challenges.
6. Freedom: Encouraging autonomy by letting the child lead the way in exploring food.
This framework acknowledges that progress may look different for every family, focusing on what works best for the child rather than rigid expectations.
Listening and Learning from the Community
We recognise that our understanding of neurodivergent experiences will always be incomplete without the voices of those living it. To the neurodivergent community: we would love to hear from you. Does this approach resonate with your experiences? What feels right, and where do you see room for growth?
Your lived experiences inform and enrich our work. By listening, we hope to continue evolving our support to better align with the needs and realities of the families we serve.
If you are navigating feeding challenges with your neurodivergent child, or if you are part of the neurodivergent community and have insights to share, we would love to connect with you.
Share your thoughts in the comments or reach out to us directly.
Book a free discovery call to discuss your unique journey and how we can work together to create a positive, accepting, and supportive feeding experience.
Together, we can build understanding, celebrate differences, and support your family on this feeding journey.
References
1. Dunn, W. (2014). Sensory Processing Challenges in Children with Autism Spectrum Disorders. Journal of Autism and Developmental Disorders, 44(2), 283–291.
2. Kerzner, B., et al. (2015). A Practical Approach to Classifying and Managing Feeding Difficulties. Pediatrics, 135(2), 344–353.
3. Williams, K. E., et al. (2021). Parent-Implemented Interventions for Feeding Problems in Children with Autism Spectrum Disorder. Appetite, 160(3), 105107.
4. Ernsperger, L., & Stegen-Hanson, T. (2004). Just Take a Bite: Easy, Effective Answers to Food Aversions and Eating Challenges. Arlington: Future Horizons.
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